Alice Wetterlund

New Yorkers love takeout. I love takeout. The astonishingly diverse array of delicious food available at at a moments notice for even the most far-flung Greenpointer never ceases to thrill. But for all the metropolitan foodie convenience that contributes to NYC’s shining reputation as Caput Mundi, there’s a dark and ridiculous side. I remember a friend of my dad’s describing the city to me once when I was a kid. He said it was the only place on earth where you go get a bottle of juice and they give you a napkin, a straw and a paper bag. Like a bottle of juice denotes a picnic unto itself. How regal!

Maybe it’s too much to ask at this point that the Chinese takeout place down the street that makes perfect fried bean curd begin serving their delectables in eco-friendly, compostable containers. That would easily double the cost of their packaging. But what if there were a way to cut the cost by 75 percent? I’m too lazy to figure out what percentage of takout clientele is actually taking their dinner somewhere they don’t already have soy sauce, sweet and sour packets, or at least their own utensils, but I’m willing to bet it’s pretty small. Like 13. What if we could just stop throwing in five ketchup packets, twenty salt and pepper packs, plastic flatware and a half pound of paper napkins with every meal (the above photo is the condiment and flatware that accompanied one meal, sans napkins)? Hell, I’d be satisfied with keeping the styrofoam containers and just eliminating the eccessive condiment stockpiling. Ok no I wouldn’t, because there is no satisfaction when it comes to eliminating superfluous waste. But I’m a pragmatic idealist, and baby steps toward sustainability are better than no steps toward anything. So next time you order out, make my day and tell them to keep their ketchup. If you need extra, email me. Due to my inability to toss things away, I probably have more than the restaurant does.