Alice Wetterlund

Are you there Verizon? It’s me, Alice. I came home today to find my internet turned off. We sent you a check last week. Did you not see it? Please don’t break my virtual kneecaps here. Haha, c’mon guys. I’d hate for our tenuous relationship to truly sour, like that of Julie Snyder and MCI or this lady. You say call back during “normal business hours” and then do not state what on earth those hours are. It’s 2010. There are no ‘normal’ business hours anymore, not really. Especially considering, as my roommate suggested, your agents might be in India. So normal business hours here are like the middle of the night, which casts the term “normal” in a whole new absurd light. I could be calling at 8am and getting that message. I’m sayin’ though, what is the point of being secretive about when your agents are available? Also there is nothing on your Denial of Service page except information I already have, some bad html, and a stock photo of a woman on a laptop (right).

She cant figure it out either. She’s just trying to google how to get better fitting pants, for chrissakes. Let this lady CEO online already! And then also let me on too, plz.

And speaking of mystery ladies, this video is cuter than a cat trying not to fall asleep. Or, as Jason more accurately points out “This cat won’t let the neighbors get any sleep!” Cute isn’t the only thing it is, it’s awesome and inspiring to see a girl shred so mightily, but she keeps glancing at the camera and then looking away akwardly sorta like Garth when he played the drums or did anything. Watch until the end when she makes a little she-Garth “Teh” noise that is amazing. I dream of a future for her of ignoring her boyfriend’s request to just pick a place to go eat already and endlessly picking on the guitar from the couch.